One more Power Bar Review...

Name: Tri-O-Plex
Flavor: Cookie Dough Chocolate Chip
Calories: 420
Weight: 118g (4.2oz)
Effectiveness: 3.55 cal/g (100 cal/oz)
Overall: 9

I am a cookie dough slave. When I make chocolate chip cookies, I generally get a yield of 1/2 whatever the recipe says, and not because I make big cookies. I have, in my misspent youth, made entire batches of cookies and never once turned on the stove. That's how much I love cookie dough.

So you understand where I'm coming from when I say that this bar misses greatness by the slimmest of margins. I'm sure it has to do with the requirements at hand, namely that a power bar be able to sit in an unrefrigerated cupboard, survive nuclear holocaust, lie undisturbed for the entirety of the following Dark Age or Ages, and still be fully consumable*. Also that it be at least slightly more healthy than just eating those refrigerated tubes of cookie dough at the supermarket. Whatever the cause, though, this is definitely a POWER BAR, not a bar of pure cookie dough.

As I remarked to Jen at the time, this power bar must be beaten into submission. Victory must be total; conditional surrender is not an option. But hey, at least it tastes good. :)

* Okay, those might not be actual requirements. Those are my guesses at the requirements that produced the general characteristics of power bars, though. Also, consumable might need some scare quotes, there, for some of these bars. :p

Yet another Power Bar Review...

Name: Myoplex Storm
Flavor: Chocolate Peanut Caramel
Weight: 80g (2.72oz)
Calories: 340
Overall: 5

I'm sensing a trend here. Peanut Butter Rage*, Myoplex Storm... it's almost like they're marketing some kind of associated image with these bars, like they want people to think of them in a certain light... huh. I wonder why?

This candy bar really wants to be a Snickers. Chocolate, Peanuts, Caramel. It sounds like a match made in heaven. Unfortunately the caramel really lets the other elements down here. I mean, it's caramel. You melt some sugar, how hard is that? You can caramelize onions, you can caramelize créme brulee, you can caramelize just about anything. I've done it myself, it's not hard. And yet. The caramel in this bar, I don't know. It's like they caramelized sandpaper or something. Concrete mix, maybe. I might recommend the caramel in this thing to my dentist as a tooth polishing compound, except you'd end up with no enamel whatsoever.

Other than that, it's fine. Have a drink handy, but fine.

* I recently discovered (via my trainer) that there's a whole range of "x Rage" products, not just Peanut Butter. This makes me giggle as I consider the image of some big burly man plunking down an entire case of "Rage" bars. You go, man.