When is a dirty word not a dirty word?
Apparently, it's okay to use the word "fuck" on live television as long as you don't mean it literally:
[T]he Federal Communications Commission … ruled without fanfare Friday that it's OK to use that word (for which we will substitute "feep") as long as you're not being literal. Follow the logical bouncing ball: You can say "feep" or "feeping" if you don't really mean "to feep."
Now, whether or not you think the 7 dirty words should be prohibited on-air or not, I think you pretty much have to admit that this ruling is truly fucked up.
Dude, if we're not able to call each other, and not online at the same time, the least you can do is update your webpage. It's the only way your wife knows what's going on with you!